Spinning in devil's grip
by frenhu
Summary: You wish you could have stayed that night, figuring out what that meant for both of you. Em/JJ, femslash. Sequel to Perfect circle, final part.


******Disclaimer: **No, they are not mine…."Criminal Minds" belongs to CBS.  
**********Author's note: The final part in the series of one-shots**. Previous parts are Saviour of the night, Transient echoes and Perfect circle.  
******A/N 2: **Beta by audiopineapple and carlyisnot.

Enjoy!

--

**JJ**

You arrive late in the afternoon. The airport is full of people and it's freezing out here compared to San Francisco. You are drained and furious, not because of the mass of people or the happy faces you see around you, but because you don't want to be here. It's too soon.

The moment you are coming through the gates, a voice calls your name and you immediately spot the woman a few feet away: Garcia. You missed her.

Yet, you don't talk much while she helps you with the luggage, or when she finally starts the car to bring you back home. She can sense as well that you are not up for this, not now at least. She took one look at you and that was enough for her to measure you up, to realize that you will talk when you are ready. She respects you that much. You know you are not being fair with her and again, you can't bring yourself to explain why you escaped.

The moment you make yourself comfortable in her car and close your eyes, you drift off, listening to the soft music from the radio in the background and try to keep out your thoughts, your environment.

When you feel the car has stopped and your companion pulls the key out from the ignition, you assume you have reached your destination. But you surprisingly see that this is not your neighborhood, this is not your house. Penelope brought you to _her_. You look to your side, bemused.

"_Mmmhh, Garcia, why are we here? This is not where I live."_

"_You have to talk to her Love, It can't go on like this."_

"_What are you talking about? Please, drive me home."_

"_JJ.."_

"_No, you can't force me to go and see her."_

"_That's where you are wrong. You have two options: either you go and talk to her right now, just the two of you, without witnesses. Or you can ignore each other tomorrow all day and pretend that these last weeks didn't even happen. But as I know Emily, she will want answers and I would not risk a fight __in the office or being suspended because of it. Now whatever happened between you two, go and fix it. Please."_

You know she is right, so you look out the window, thousands of thoughts crossing your mind at once, all concerned with her. You glance back at Penelope but your fingers are already moving and you are out of the seat in no time.

When you reach her apartment, you raise your hand, stopping just before you would reach the wooden surface. You spend a few minutes just like that, standing there with one hand inches from its destination. You can't decided what to do. It takes all the strength you have but in the end, you move your fist forward and knock on the door once.

Nothing.

You don't hear any movements so you knock again, this time a little harder, louder.

Still nothing.

When you call out Emily's name, you here keys shuffling in the door but its not hers. Suddenly, the neighbor appears in the next door and he looks at you like you have grown two heads.

"_She is not here, left about half an hour ago with her friend."_

"_Her friend?"_ You question puzzled.

"_Yes, her colleague. Brunette, she is nice. Really hot as well."_

"_Oh…okay, thanks."_

You turn and leave, taking the stairs instead the elevator, quickening your step with every move. You feel like your chest is pressed down with tons of weight and you need air. By the time you make your way to the car, you are panting, out of breath like you raced for your life.

"_What happened?"_

"_She is not here."_

"_JJ, I swear to God, if you didn't even…"_

"_She left earlier with my substitute, Agent Todd." _You tell her with a cold voice, staring blankly in front of yourself.

"_Ohhhhh…oooh. That's not good."_

"_What is not good Garcia?"_

"_Nothing really…errr, I will drive you home JJ."_

"_Garcia, please, tell me, I can take it."_

"_They got along well I think while you were gone, they even went out for drink a couple of times. Jordan was...let's say, very persuasive. She knew what she wanted. I'm sorry JJ."_

"_No, no, that's alright. Take me home."_

You don't know what you expected but surely not this. You know you have no right to be jealous, but you can't help it. You wish you could have stayed that night, figuring out what that meant for both of you. You hate feeling like a coward, like a betrayer who ran, who gave up when things got a little harder. Taking what you wanted and then leaving. That was all you thought about that night.

--

**Emily**

She is good for you, you are relaxed in her company and you really need this, you need to put your mind at ease. Jordan flashes her smile at you, encouraging. The distraction is very welcomed because if you would think about JJ, you are sure you would absolutely lose it. Right here, in the midst of moving bodies around you, dancing to the pumping, beating music. You are after your fourth tequila and you already feel flushed, light-headed so you should probably stop before you make any mistakes.

You have already decided that you will officially hand in your resignation, ask for your transfer whatever happens next day. You go to your table to sit down a little bit to clear your head but you stop in your tracks as a familiar scent reach your senses; JJ's fragrance, no doubt.

You spin around scanning the place carefully but you don't see anyone who resembles her. You want to scold yourself for feeling this way, allowing her to still have this effect on you.

_She is coming back. Tomorrow. _You will see her again, in her full glory.

If you would work with her furthermore, you know she would destroy you in the end. And you would let her. You have no idea when and how you became this weak, so leaving the BAU is the only option that you could think of; going away with all the dignity what's left, which is not much after all. These last silent weeks told you everything. You are not looking for answers anymore, you don't want any explanations or excuses. You are way past that, you are done with her, with Quantico, with the team.

You are free.

The realization hits you as well as what that all means. You don't think, you grab your things and bolt. You have to do this. You have to get it out, confront JJ.

You knock impatiently on her door an hour later. It's late so you know she must have already arrived back and you are not mistaken. After a few seconds you are staring at her, smirking at the shock you detect on her face.

"_Emily????"_

You don't wait for any invitation, you grab her, capture her mouth and push her inside. You undress her with a hunger you haven't felt since the night she came to you.

You don't talk. You don't hesitate. You take what you want.

You sneak out in the morning, leaving her without a word.

You are coming full circle.

You are free.


End file.
